| Gay domestic violence is probably the most | | | | available agencies of help to charge the abuser |
| underrated of all social maladies. It is commonly | | | | and charge him with a domestic violence |
| assumed that a domestic violence scenario would | | | | misdemeanor conviction. Ironically, here the victim |
| have to necessarily involve an abuser who is male | | | | is male, too. It has been noted that one of the |
| and a victim who is a young female, child, or elder | | | | highest causes of death in gay communities after |
| citizen. This consistently excludes the zone of | | | | AIDS and substance abuse, is domestic violence. |
| homosexual relationships for the obvious reason | | | | Now given the male preoccupation with power |
| that the interaction here is man to man and | | | | and control whether in heterosexual or gay |
| woman to woman, where Mars and Venus do not | | | | relationships, it would seem that the ideal alliance |
| interact. | | | | would be the one between women, who are |
| So does the social malady of domestic violence | | | | supposed to be the docile, peace loving, and |
| depend on a heterosexual equation as is widely | | | | submissive second sex. It is surprising, but true, |
| assumed? No. The surprising fact is that the | | | | that lesbian relationships have more than their |
| percentage of domestic violence in homosexual | | | | share of violence than is attributed to them. |
| relationships is higher than in heterosexual | | | | Whether it is the stress of living in a homophobic |
| partnerships. | | | | society, or the daily pressures of living in a |
| A gay alliance has its own dynamics which | | | | relationship, lesbian relationships are replete with |
| contributes to more stress than that experienced | | | | verbal, emotional, and even physical violence. |
| in a heterosexual union. Coming out of the closet | | | | While most domestic violence issues remain shut |
| takes tremendous courage, especially for a young | | | | from the public eye till they have fermented |
| person who has still not found his niche, and is | | | | beyond control, lesbian domestic violence rarely if |
| dependent upon family support. Taking this | | | | ever finds the light of day. The main reason here |
| enormous step often results in the loss of family, | | | | is that the victim fears that she will not be taken |
| friends, and society. The gay person is seen as | | | | seriously by a homophobic society. She truly feels |
| 'different' in more ways than one. | | | | isolated from the typical social machinery which |
| Homophobia takes various shapes; however, the | | | | other victims have recourse to use, and may not |
| end result is a kind of excommunication where | | | | want to avail of the help afforded by |
| the only form of support available is from the gay | | | | heterosexual agencies. Voluntary agencies that |
| community itself. When gay couples decide to live | | | | exclusively shelter lesbian victims of domestic |
| together, again there is a public statement made | | | | violence are non-existent. |
| that does not find approval with most of society. | | | | This problem is faced by both gay and lesbian |
| When gay men enter an alliance, it would be safe | | | | victims of domestic violence. They fear ridicule at |
| to expect a fun Boy's Club situation where the | | | | the hands of the police, the judicial systems, and |
| party never ends. But statistics inform us that the | | | | voluntary agencies which are the main outlets of |
| violence in this relationship far exceeds any other | | | | help for other victims of domestic violence. |
| in ferocity and frequency. Most cases of domestic | | | | Domestic violence law is based on a heterosexual |
| violence against men are reported from gay | | | | perspective where the identities of the abuser |
| relationships. It spreads across the whole violent | | | | and the abused are beyond doubt. In a gay |
| spectrum of battering, stabbing, shooting, and | | | | domestic violence issue, it is very hard to see a |
| assaulting sexually as well as emotionally. | | | | man as a victim in a gay relationship, or a woman |
| The need to seize power and control of the other | | | | as a batterer in a lesbian relationship. |
| does not differentiate between the sexes. The | | | | Please feel free to leave a comment to let me |
| patterns are similar to that found in heterosexual | | | | know if this article helped you, or what other |
| partnerships. The victim continues to live with the | | | | topics you would like to see on the site. I started |
| abuser; inexplicably enduring years of abuse until | | | | this site to help others, so I want to make sure |
| finally deciding to walk out, or is killed by the | | | | you are getting the most from it. |
| violence. The victim is also reluctant to use | | | | |