| My husband and I have a 12-year-old
| |
| | away, one by one.
|
| daughter who wanted to go to a winter
| |
| | You have to figure out what works for
|
| retreat with her church youth group last
| |
| | you. You may have to teach each child
|
| year. Price of trip - $45. I told her I'd
| |
| | individually, because each is motivated
|
| talk to her dad about it. "HOW much is
| |
| | differently. If your children cheerfully
|
| it?" he asked, "didn't she just go
| |
| | hand over their allowance every time they
|
| somewhere with the youth group?" "Yes," I
| |
| | don't take out the garbage, you should
|
| replied, "and also to two friends'
| |
| | take some other privilege away.
|
| birthday parties. Another one is coming
| |
| | Resist the urge to give your children too
|
| up this weekend." We both agreed that was
| |
| | much allowance. Don't buy them things
|
| a lot of money for us to spend for our
| |
| | that they can save money for themselves,
|
| daughter to have fun with her friends.
| |
| | like designer clothes, CD's, magazines,
|
| But the retreat was a church activity. So
| |
| | make up, video games, etc. Even young
|
| we should have forked out the money for
| |
| | children can be taught to save for small
|
| her go, right? Well, maybe. In the past
| |
| | things. Almost nothing makes me more sad
|
| year or so our daughter had made a lot of
| |
| | than seeing children who take their
|
| new friends and had been asked to be
| |
| | allowances for granted and never have to
|
| involved in a lot of new social
| |
| | work for it. Parents aren't doing their
|
| activities. Last summer was the first
| |
| | children any favors by teaching them to
|
| year we could afford to let her go to
| |
| | expect everything to be handed to them.
|
| summer camp for a week. It pleased me
| |
| | We sacrifice, and they don't appreciate
|
| more than anything to tell her she could
| |
| | it. Why should they? They don't have
|
| go.
| |
| | anything to lose.
|
| The more we've let our daughter go do
| |
| | So did our daughter get to go on her
|
| things with her friends, the more she
| |
| | retreat? We decided she could go if she
|
| takes those things for granted, and
| |
| | paid $20 of the $45. She was not happy
|
| expects more. She then resents doing
| |
| | about it. She only gets $3 a week
|
| something so menial as her household
| |
| | allowance, and she was saving her money
|
| chores. So now we make sure her chores
| |
| | for a new CD. She stewed about it for
|
| are done before she goes anywhere.
| |
| | awhile, and then forked over what money
|
| "Room's not clean, laundry not started?
| |
| | she had. We worked out a payment schedule
|
| Better hurry and do them before you go do
| |
| | for her to come up with the rest of the
|
| something with your friends. Don't have
| |
| | money before the weekend of the retreat,
|
| time? Then I guess you're out of luck."
| |
| | and we let her do extra chores to earn a
|
| But that was only the start. Whenever the
| |
| | few more dollars. Are we guilty of child
|
| attitude starts in she's given a warning
| |
| | abuse? Our daughter thinks so, but her
|
| and then privileges start being taken
| |
| | dad and I know better.
|
