| It's possible that most of us have never
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| | do, even though you know how to do it
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| known true intimacy from the moment we
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| | better than he does--stop yourself. Stop
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| came into the world. We've been labeled,
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| | talking. See what happens.So what do you
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| taught, cajoled and prodded, been
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| | do when you've stopped talking? How do
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| threatened by all forms of authority,
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| | you communicate anything? The simple
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| told what's true and what isn't, and
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| | answer is to use an "I feel" message.
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| disrespected for everything from our
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| | This sounds easy. In a book, it would
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| feelings to our thoughts. Our
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| | sound easy. But it's probably something
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| relationships have been more about
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| | you don't really have words for. Starting
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| pleasing others than pleasing ourselves.
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| | with "I feel" is the perfect start, but
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| More about struggling and using our wits
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| | what then?Go with what's really there.
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| to get what we need and what we think we
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| | Feel the floor under your feet. Feel the
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| want than discovering what it is we
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| | table in front of you. Feel your heart
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| really want.Sometimes we need someone
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| | beat, you're stomach gurgle, the
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| else to tell us that it's okay to want
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| | tightness in your chest that's there
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| what we want. Sometimes we only
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| | because you're mad, or upset, or
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| accidentally discover that the person we
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| | frustrated, or giddy, and you don't know
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| really are, warts and all, underneath all
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| | what to say. Feel the most concrete,
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| the masks and games we've learned to put
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| | real, simple thing you can, and say that.
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| between ourselves and others, is truly
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| | Just saying, "I'm hungry" is better than
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| loveable. It can change our lives
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| | "Let's go to that little Italian place,
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| forever, or remain a lost opportunity
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| | okay?"This is a game, you say. No, it
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| forever. Someone sees us -- really sees
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| | isn't. It's the missing link. The missing
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| us -- in a moment of accidental abandon
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| | piece that we never learned as children.
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| and their heart fills up with love for
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| | We learned how to get along, how to
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| us. We deny this possibility and push
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| | influence others, how to look and do
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| that someone away because we so don't
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| | good, but we never learned how to even
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| believe we are loveable.Does this sound
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| | make contact with what we really feel,
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| like you? It's most all of us. We can't,
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| | much less ever said it simply.A woman who
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| or won't get close enough to someone who
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| | can say what she feels, simply, directly,
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| may very well be our soulmate because
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| | passionately, with energy and conviction
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| we've never done it. We don't know
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| | or matter-of-factness will find her
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| how.When I was an actor, I did not have
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| | soulmate in record time. And there will
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| access to my emotions. I could pretend
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| | be nothing to stop him from grabbing her
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| fairly well, and it got me far --I could
| |
| | and running with it. What Tom Cruise does
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| laugh nearly anytime, but I was
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| | publicly over Katie Holmes is not bad, or
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| completely detached from my anger and
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| | weird, or bizarre. It's the way men are
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| pain. An actor friend told me -- "fake it
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| | supposed to behave when they're in love
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| til you make it." Meaning, if I pounded
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| | -- only we've all forgotten. We're all
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| the table hard enough and long enough
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| | embarrassed. We're all afraid of
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| with my fist, I'd feel angry. If I hit my
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| | intimacy. What would happen if we behaved
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| hand with a hammer over and over again,
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| | as if we weren't?In her packed Los
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| I'd feel pain. I'd probably cry.I use
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| | Angeles workshops, relationship coach,
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| some of this "fake it til you make it"
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| | author, speaker and seminar leader Rori
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| philosophy in teaching women how to
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| | Gwynne teaches women the completely
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| express themselves. Sometimes, just not
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| | original, controversial, simple-to-do
|
| saying or doing something can trigger the
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| | techniques for communication, confidence,
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| real stuff. Sometimes, just not saying or
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| | and connecting with men that she used to
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| doing something you've always done in the
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| | turn her own now-glorious eighteen-year
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| same situation will change the dynamic of
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| | marriage around.Visit Rori at to get
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| your relationship forever. Trust creeps
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| | free Tip Sheets, to sign up for the free,
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| in, in small ways. Intimacy takes hold in
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| | powerful CoachRori Newsletter, and to see
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| the spaces between words. Not speaking
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| | how Rori can help you Turn the
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| not from your heart leaves room for
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| | Relationship You Have Into the
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| speaking from your heart. The next time
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| | Relationship you Want.
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| you're tempted to tell your man what to
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|
