| I think that those of us who are Christians all | | | | prayer life for you and your children is to get to |
| agree that our Number One priority is to make | | | | know God as a father. If this is not your starting |
| sure our children have a strong, healthy | | | | point, than all the rest of your prayer life will be |
| relationship with God. We also all agree that | | | | dry and dull. |
| prayer is vitally important to building that | | | | How do you do this? Simple! You start by talking |
| relationship. | | | | to him, intimately. First, you have to get away |
| So, how successful are we at it? I'm going to ask | | | | from other people to some environment where |
| you a couple of questions. Please be brave and | | | | you can hopefully talk aloud without attracting |
| honest while answering them. | | | | undue attention. The Bible tells us to go "into your |
| Can you honestly say, # "I really look forward to | | | | closet." Unless you have a huge, empty walk-in |
| my prayer time every day." # "I often enjoy | | | | closet, you can't do this literally. The point is that |
| prayer so much I lose track of the time." # "Most | | | | you have to shut out the world around you. Don't |
| of my prayer time is not spent begging God for | | | | laugh, but this can most simply be done by just |
| favors for myself or others." # "I feel that I | | | | going into a room by yourself and throwing a |
| know God really, really well." # "Praying for 15, 30, | | | | towel over your head. (If it makes you feel |
| or even 60 minutes at a time is easy for me." | | | | better to call it a "prayer shawl," go right ahead.) |
| For years I have pondered why I - and, to be | | | | Whether you're a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic |
| honest, a whole lot of other people - are not the | | | | tactile learner, that will shut out your natural |
| joyous prayer warriors we should be, let alone | | | | distractions. If you can concentrate enough just |
| such shining examples that our children are mighty | | | | by closing your eyes, that's fine, too. |
| in prayer as well. And, just in time to write this | | | | Then, you do what you always do when you |
| column, I believe I finally have an answer. | | | | want to get to know a new person and have |
| We can unlock the power of prayer when we | | | | them get to know you: you volunteer information |
| realize: # Prayer comes in two flavors: intimate | | | | about yourself, ask questions about the other |
| and formal # We have to start with the first two | | | | person, and listen and respond to the answers. |
| words of the Lord's Prayer What Books on | | | | Since this is God you are talking to, you might run |
| Prayer Are Missing When I first tried learning how | | | | into these complications: "Since He already knows |
| to pray, several decades ago, I bought every | | | | all about me, isn't telling him about myself and my |
| book on the subject that I could find. They turned | | | | hopes, dreams, and needs just a waste of time?" |
| out to be either rapturous accounts of how | | | | Answer: it would be if He didn't specifically want |
| wonderful someone else's prayer life was, or full | | | | you to tell Him these things. Which He does. |
| of little formulas for approaching God. | | | | Remember what Jesus will say to those who |
| The most famous of these little formulas is | | | | don't get to enter the kingdom of heaven: "I |
| probably the Navigator's "A-C-T-S" method, in | | | | never knew you." (Matthew 7:21-23) Yes, God |
| which "A" stands for adoration, "C" for confession, | | | | knows all about us, but He wants to know us in |
| "T" for thanksgiving, and "S" for supplication. | | | | the way we know our friends, spouses, and |
| This is fine as far as it goes, as a mnemonic tool | | | | relatives: by having us voluntarily share ourselves |
| to remind us not to obsess on just asking for our | | | | with Him - our aspirations, dreams, needs, |
| needs, but surely this is not the way we talk to | | | | worries, and triumphs. |
| any other person. "Bill, I'm just going to tell you | | | | "I know intellectually God is perfect, but |
| how great you are for a minute, then spend | | | | emotionally I can't help feeling like He's let me |
| another minute wracking my brains for ways I've | | | | down in some ways. This makes it hard to tell |
| let you down, then another minute thanking you | | | | Him how I feel, because I don't want to sin by |
| for everything you've done for me, and one final | | | | complaining against Him." Be aware that the |
| minute asking you for stuff I need. And this is | | | | divinely-inspired Psalms are full of complaints |
| how I'm going to talk to you each and every time | | | | against God. Consider Psalm 10, which begins, |
| we're alone together." Way to go to build marital | | | | "Why standest thou afar off, O Lord? why hidest |
| intimacy! The people who emoted in their books | | | | thou thyself in times of trouble?" or Psalm 13, |
| about their great relationships with God, on the | | | | which starts, "How long wilt thou forget me, O |
| other hand, did seem to have something good | | | | Lord?" Doesn't that sound like complaining to you? |
| going for them. | | | | Even Jesus, on the cross, cried out, "My God, my |
| Unfortunately, they did not convey exactly what | | | | God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" Of course, |
| it was. They would talk about "falling into the | | | | having voiced these complaints, the Psalms |
| arms of God," "just lifting up your heart and loving | | | | eventually end with God's consoling answers. But if |
| Jesus," and so on, without explaining how you're | | | | even Jesus Christ could feel emotionally forsaken |
| supposed to do all this. As is typical for people to | | | | by God the Father, it is possible for any Christian |
| whom something comes easily, they assumed the | | | | to feel the same. In fact, this experience is so |
| reader could do what they did and just needed | | | | common that medieval writers gave it a name: |
| more motivation to get started. | | | | "The Dark Night of the Soul." God would rather |
| I'm assuming you have motivation, and maybe | | | | have you vent your emotions, good or bad, |
| even have had some good times with God in | | | | directly to Him than try to cover them up and |
| prayer in the past. But the idea of spending 15 | | | | pretend everything is OK when it isn't. |
| minutes or half an hour daily with God is daunting. | | | | And when you do admit your ill feelings, then He |
| Let me tell you why it's daunting. | | | | will answer you, clear up your misunderstandings, |
| # It's not because you're not pious # Its not | | | | and make you feel so much better. |
| because you don't care # It's not because you | | | | "I don't want to be presumptuous." Think of it as |
| don't think prayer is important It's because you | | | | being vulnerable. A little one can tell Daddy |
| don't know God well enough, as a Person, and | | | | anything. And in this case, Daddy already knows it |
| don't know what to talk about except to beg for | | | | all already. |
| favors for yourself and others. Begging for favors | | | | "Doesn't the Bible warn us against speaking to |
| isn't all that much fun, and it doesn't take up that | | | | God with 'many words'?" Actually, it's "vain |
| much time unless you go around collecting | | | | repetitions" (Matthew 6:7). Pagan religions teach |
| petitions from all and sundry. Plus, you feel silly | | | | that there is merit in how many times you repeat |
| continuing to pray for the same requests day | | | | a religious phrase or turn a prayer wheel. The |
| after day when you don't even know if they've | | | | Bible teaches us that prayer is not supposed to |
| been answered yet. | | | | be this kind of painful duty that earns merit |
| Now, let me tell you why most of us don't know | | | | because of how much endurance it takes to keep |
| God as well as we might. | | | | on doing the same thing again and again. |
| The First Two Words of the Lord's Prayer . . . | | | | So, I have a suggestion for the Navigators. Try |
| . . . are "Our Father." Jesus told us this prayer was | | | | adding the letter "H" for "hanging out with God." |
| the pattern for all our prayers: "After this manner | | | | That turns "ACTS" into "CHATS." Less struggle, |
| pray ye." It does not start, "Our King," or "Our | | | | more joy . . . and more quality time with Our |
| Judge," or "Our Boss." So I am suggesting for you | | | | Father, who is in Heaven. |
| that the starting point for a disciplined, powerful | | | | |