| Mark and JoAnne are the parents of a daughter | | | | etiology of the condition is important, for parents |
| who recently graduated eighth grade and will be | | | | it is more beneficial to understand the signs and |
| attending high school. The girl is a straight "A" | | | | symptoms of those who are affected.Children |
| student and though slated to attend public school, | | | | with low self-esteem may be overly shy, but |
| her parents felt that she will have better social | | | | others may have a tendency to be bullies, or |
| influences and curriculum at a p rivate school | | | | show aggression with younger siblings or peers. |
| believing that her recent rebellion and acting out | | | | Most are also prone to have strong or |
| sexual behavior with boys was a reflection on her | | | | exaggerated emotional responses to frustration, |
| previous school setting. In order for them to | | | | hold grudges, perseverate on their appearance, or |
| ensure she was in the best possible environment, | | | | focus on things that they perceive to be unfair, |
| Mark and JoAnne attended the parent and | | | | such as a friend, a sibling with more toys, |
| teacher conference at the private school.The | | | | privileges or attention, etc. As they get older, |
| focus of the meeting was to reassure parents | | | | they may deal with their inferiority by feigning |
| that the school had a strong curriculum with the | | | | sickness to avoid school or social situations and |
| proper emphasis on the three R's, as well as | | | | are more likely to engage in high risk behaviors - |
| other academic building blocks. When the parents | | | | everything from sexually acting out, eating |
| left the meeting they were ecstatic. When they | | | | disorders, shoplifting, smoking, using drugs, or |
| told their daughter of the pending change in | | | | underachieving. Emotionally, they may feel undo |
| schools, however, her reaction was dramatic. Her | | | | stress for children of a similar age and feel |
| defiance increased and the sexual acting out | | | | pressure from activities that others would |
| became more frequent and blatant. She was | | | | consider recreational, or social.As parents, it is also |
| even arrested for shoplifting. After a month of | | | | important to understand that low self-esteem is |
| family turmoil they turned to counseling. After a | | | | also an emotional condition with deep roots and |
| short period of time it was clear that the parents' | | | | not solely a cognitive disorder. There is a |
| focus on academic building blocks and seemingly | | | | tendency for parents to "talk away," or attempt |
| natural academic path for a straight "A" student | | | | to rationally explain to their children why they |
| was at the expense of recognizing that an equally | | | | "should" feel good about themselves. However, |
| essential building block to ensure their daughter's | | | | attempting to convince the child they should feel |
| success in life was missing. She had no | | | | differently is ineffective, though some reality |
| self-esteem.The ability to feel self worth is an | | | | testing with clinical finesse may be incorporated |
| essential human survival skill. It provides the | | | | into family discussions. This approach is more likely |
| necessary sense of competence, motivation and | | | | to teach the child to better hide their feelings of |
| ability to deal with those things and people that | | | | inadequacies, replace parental communication with |
| complicate the art of living life to its highest | | | | mistrust and keep outside appearances flawless. |
| potential. Without self-esteem the ability to | | | | Instead, we can nurture our children's esteem by |
| successfully navigate life's hurdles is greatly | | | | providing our children with a loving and nurturing |
| diminished. People with low or no self-esteem are | | | | environment and keeping good lines of |
| more likely to retaliate against life's stresses | | | | communication. It is also essential to keep |
| because there is a tendency for them to attach | | | | challenging their abilities by teaching them how to |
| their self worth to each and every event they | | | | navigate life's hurdles, rather than how to avoid |
| experience; everything is personalized and the | | | | them, all while setting realistic limits and |
| necessary rational and strategic solutions to a | | | | consequences. In extreme cases, professional |
| problem are circumvented.Lack of self-worth is | | | | intervention can be effective in teaching the child |
| also an equal opportunity destroyer, impacting the | | | | and family how to accommodate feelings of low |
| entire spectrum of economic and social classes. | | | | self-esteem.You may reprint or publish this article |
| Unlike a case of measles, it may not be easily | | | | freely as long as you include a visible, active link |
| detected. Previously, people with low esteem | | | | to and the author bio.David Aronshohn is a doctor |
| were more easily recognized by their acute | | | | of psychology and licensed marriage and family |
| withdrawal or aberrant behavior, all of which may | | | | therapist. He maintains a private and corporate |
| still exist. However, many current sufferers of | | | | consultation practice out of Westlake Village, CA. |
| this condition present a competent and | | | | 818/735-0428. To read more articles by David |
| unaffected exterior, while on the inside they live a | | | | visit advice in this article is not meant to act as |
| life of internal turmoil and fear.Where does | | | | professional advice, or counseling for your |
| self-esteem come from? Some clinicians feel that | | | | particular set of circumstances. It is designed for |
| a child's personality is pre-disposed, while others | | | | general knowledge. It is recommended that if you |
| feel that it can be instilled and taught the same | | | | feel you need individual assistance for you or your |
| way any cognitive task can be incorporated. It | | | | family, you seek the advice and intervention of a |
| seems more accurate that there is a healthy | | | | licensed professional that can provide help for |
| combination of both polarized views. Though the | | | | your particular set of circumstances. |