Home Schooling: Educating the Teachers

It's 5:30 a.m. on a summer day. I should beour then first-grader is supposedly likely to kill
sleeping like the rest of the world, ensconced in ahimself, he could be a danger to others, yada
woolly blanket of certitude that there is no workyada. So we take him to his first shrink, who
today, only vacation. But I can't really sleep. It'spronounces him normal but unusually imaginative
the first day of school, you see.There is an oldand, surprise, verbally gifted, and says that the
theory of learning that says education isn't aboutboy was just acting out something he heard. We
teaching students new things but only aboutwere not really surprised, but we were still
reminding them what they already inherentlyrelieved that everything was normal.Let me tell
know.It's a high-minded theory that assumesyou, though, after something like that gets
everyone is what my old college president wouldaround, nothing's normal ever again. Suddenly, we
have termed "educable," that knowledge, likewere the pariahs who were raising the next
truth, is not relative, but exists on its own planeColumbine kid. We couldn't buy a play date at that
running parallel to ours and may be accessed bypoint. And our son was aware of it. He started
revelation.One need only be shown the hiddenhanging his head when he walked, playing by
path to the oracle's chamber, so to speak, and allhimself at recess, and we'd catch him calling
will be unveiled.Sometimes, though, it's not thehimself "stupid" when things went awry. At that
student but the teacher that needs to be shownpoint, we had an opportunity to apply to another
the way.Perhaps we are so inured to others'school. We went through all the hoops and got
needs, so accustomed to our own convenience,positive feedback from the interviewing teachers
that we modern folk oftentimes don't pay heedand so forth, but one of the deciding factors
to the tragedies occurring before our very eyes.turned out to be a letter written to the new
Particularly for parents trying to educate ourschool by our son's kindergarten teacher. We
children, there seems to be a wall in front of ourweren't allowed to see the letter, but the tone of
eyes that shields us so often from the truth.Wethe interviewers changed drastically after they
place our children in schools in the hopes that theyread it.Fortunately, we had another opportunity to
will learn what is needed for them to survive inget into a different school, this one Catholic, which
this world: facts, figures, social aptitude, anis our denomination. Once again, we had high
inquiring mind, an entrepreneurial spirit.And we willhopes for better results. Once again, those hopes
show up and be supportive at school assemblies,were dashed. Our son wound up in a classroom
classroom field trips, endless fund-raisers, sportingwith a first-year teacher who right off the bat
events, etc., ad nauseum.We provide classroompegged him as a troublemaker for whatever
supplies, chaperoning, transportation, libraryreason. This teacher, we later learned, had a habit
staffing, even office support, all in hopes that weof yelling at the kids, and she took out much of
are furthering our children's education by setting aher aggression on our son. He began hating school
good example and freeing up the teachers to doand not wanting to do the incredible amount of
"what they do best."Too often, though, whathomework they piled on every night. The next
parents get out of this bargain isn't what wasteacher was much nicer, but by then the damage
promised. Instead of bright, energetic, go-getterwas done. Even though our boy was capable of
scholars, what we are handed back is childrendoing his homework perfectly (when he wanted
who are lethargic, beaten down and drained ofto), he regularly flunked tests because they were
any creativity they once had. We get kids whotime-limited and he would panic because he could
are indoctrinated into political correctness -- whichhear his past teacher screaming at the kids next
is to say the art of arrogant whininess -- but whodoor.Just to add insult to injury, we finally realized
can barely multiply. We get kids who have beenthat the curriculum at the school was the same
taught in "science" class to recycle to "save" thestate-created curriculum at public schools. They
planet, but who can't explain to you how anused the same texts and applied the same
airplane stays in the air or how an internalridiculous schedule of 8 to 10 subjects per day,
combustion engine works. We get kids who havewhich hardly allows any time to absorb the
been forced to memorize Dr. Martin Luther King'sinformation, much less understand it. The parents
"I Have a Dream" speech and participate annuallywhose kids were doing well in class, we later
in Cinco de Mayo but who can't explain onelearned, were going to Kumon classes after
contribution of white people to the world otherschool. When our son needed extra help with
than bringing disease to North America.In somemultiplication, we were told he must be tutored.
schools, it's not unusual for as many as half theWell, the tutors at the school didn't have time for
students to drop out before their senior highus. We approached the youth director because
school year. Of those who hang in there, manyher teens need service credits to graduate high
seniors can't even pass an eighth-grade-level exitschool. No one volunteered to tutor our son. We
exam to get their diplomas.And just to add towere finally told he MUST have a professional
parental enjoyment, along the way, the childrentutor. We were given a name, supposedly of a
have almost certainly been exposed to gay sex,parishioner, but no contact information. This
oral sex, premarital sex, contraception, abortion,person was not on record with the parish or the
illegal drug use, alcohol abuse, nihilism and atheism.school office. The principal, who had
All under the auspices of the school, and all beforerecommended him, never came forth with a
sixth grade -- kindergarten, if some legislators getnumber. We contacted the church's nuns. This
their way. Recess and that after-school timeparticular order is charged with teaching children.
before parents come home provide ampleThat's their gig. Within five minutes, the got back
opportunity for kids to put into practice whatto us and said one of the sisters would tutor our
they've learned in "skool."Parents may seek reliefson, but they wanted to talk to his teacher
in private schools, but often what they encounterbefore setting up a schedule. They talked to his
is no better, just more expensive. If you are richteacher apparently, then suddenly they weren't
enough, it is still possible to buy your children aavailable to help out.So in the final analysis, our
real education. If you're merely well-off, moreown church school, using lay teachers to teach
likely what will happen is you will pay through thestate curriculum out of state textbooks, happily
nose, and your children will receive an educationaccepts thousands of dollars in tuition but is unable
that is relatively free from the sex- andto properly teach the children math, forcing
drug-teaching curricula of the public schools, asparents to supplement with either a program like
well as the more violent forms of playgroundKumon or, in our case, nonexistent tutors.We
bullying. But for the most part, the rest of thespent somewhere between $25,000 and $30,000
teaching agenda is the same, particularly if youon tuition, uniforms and other expenses in the
live in a state like California, where private schoolsvain hope of giving our child a decent education. All
are so regulated that they often just give up andthat happened was a gaggle of overpaid
use the same books, the same curricula, samestrangers slowly strangled his curiosity and
time tables and same test "preparation"crushed his desire to learn, leaving him a bundle of
procedures as the public schools. If you're lucky,nerves at the age of 8.Sometimes it's the
there might be some time to squeeze in a littleeducator who needs to be reminded of what he
religious education.That was our experience. Notalready knows. My child is too important to me,
being much of a corporate yes man myself,and I think someday to the world, to leave in the
we've often been on the lower rungs of thehands of a capricious public or private education
economic ladder. Still, we managed to put our sonsystem that, ultimately, is designed to produce
into private schools despite the cost. Sending himconforming drones, not thinkers. We, as his
to our local public elementary school was out ofparents, cannot simply stand by and watch the
the question. The first time we went to thatlife being squeezed out of him like the juice from
school's office, there were three children beinga lemon.The reality is that we, like most parents,
treated by the school nurse after getting beatenhave allowed this to happen for far too long
up in the halls. The second time we went to thatbecause it was convenient to let our son be
office, the police were there having a "chat" withraised by strangers.No more.We had started
a boy who looked like he was in about fourthsupplementing his education with materials from a
grade.So we got our son into a local privatelocal home schooling program when he began
school, with high hopes of better things. Now,having grade trouble and as a "backup" because
when he started kindergarten, he was almost aof the monkey business school administrators
whole year younger than the rest of hisliked to be up to, such as putting new students on
classmates because of the oddity of birthday"probation" for no reason.We've decided to take
cutoffs, but he still tested above many of them.the plunge and just home school. It will be a
That glowing moment didn't last long, however.change, for sure, and a lot of responsibility, but
Soon, we were told that our boy needed athe incredible improvement we've already seen in
speech therapist because he had troubleour boy's attitude and aptitude is making it
pronouncing certain syllables. We took him back toworthwhile.I've encountered many parents with
our local public school, which actually had a realstories similar to ours. We apparently are part of
speech therapist on staff, and after five minutesa growing movement to take back education
she pronounced not only was he normal for hisfrom the millers who are running the
age, but he was exceptionally bright and seemedsystem.Having been through the system myself,
like he was a few years ahead in his vocabulary,and having seen what it nearly did to my child, I
even if he couldn't quite pronounce his "th" soundsno longer believe in "reforming" the education
yet.After we got over that hurdle, we learnedsystem, reducing class sizes or raising teachers'
that he was being picked on at school. Despite thesalaries. If the government insists on dabbling in
school's supposedly strict "no bullies" policy, oureducation, then what is needed is a wholesale
son, who was a year younger than most of hiselimination of what we have now. A replacement
classmates but also taller than almost all of them,system would start with teachers who are
was in the same classroom with a boy who wastrained in a subject other than "education," have
almost two years older than most of thean administrator-to-teacher ratio on the order of
kindergartners. So now I found myself having to1-to-20, eliminate the nonsensical scale of grade
explain to my gentle 5-year-old how to handle anlevels and let students achieve at their own speed
8-year-old developmentally challenged gorilla whoin the needed skills.How do I know that would
liked to express himself with his fists. We finallywork? Because that's essentially what we've
got the principal to take action after the teachercreated with our own home schooling group, and
did nothing, but at the expense of his teacherit is working spectacularly well. There are kids
now viewing us and our son as "the enemy" forwho have gone through the same program and
getting her in trouble.And that was just theentered college by age 15. Many of the teens in
beginning of our experiences with private schools.the program or formerly in the program have
At one point, our boy must have seen somethingsuccessful businesses. My son's only 8, so we've
on TV at the same time the class was studyinggot lots of working and growing ahead to do, but
Christ's Passion in school, and he made afor the first time in a long time, both he and his
comment to somebody, somehow, somewhere,parents are looking forward to it.Tad Cronn is an
"Oh, just kill me." I think it was because he usedauthor and editor in West Hills, CA.
the wrong color crayon or something. Suddenly,