| Is there a subject more charged than that of | | | | present ages and stages. It is this: Avoid rushing, |
| time, especially among parents? It is the source | | | | absolutely as much as possible. It takes planning |
| of many of our conversations ("How are you?" | | | | ahead, but not a lot. Just adding three minutes to |
| "Busy!") and much of our guilt. | | | | the process of getting in and out of the car can |
| Time is also a subject that has been too much on | | | | make all the difference in the experience, and it |
| my mind lately, leaving me feeling a little short of | | | | has improved my relationship with my children in a |
| breath without knowing exactly why. | | | | big way. My kids are simply no good at hurrying. |
| Maybe it is because, of late, we have known way | | | | My oldest daughter gets panicky; my younger |
| too many people coping with untimely, tragic | | | | daughter slows down even more, no doubt for |
| deaths. Anytime someone younger than you dies | | | | the attention it inevitably grants her; and for my |
| unexpectedly, it tends to make you squint at | | | | youngest, it just squashes all his fun. He quietly |
| your life and your choices and to wonder whether | | | | hurries along but not without flashing me a look |
| you are going to be granted much more time to | | | | that says "You are a party pooper." |
| continue making them. | | | | After some reflection, I realize he is right: Rushing |
| Maybe it is because my middle child started | | | | makes me the ultimate party pooper. I suppose I |
| Kindergarten and my baby boy is turning 4, and it | | | | am no good at it either. I want to teach my kids |
| is finally dawning on me that the phrase I have | | | | about the proper use of time: I want my kids to |
| heard endlessly for the last seven or so years, | | | | let something inside them determine their pace. I |
| something about "enjoy this time because it goes | | | | want them to know the joy of focus and of |
| so fast," may, in fact, be sound advice. When my | | | | making conscious choices about how, where, and |
| kids were younger, I would smile politely to all the | | | | why they are spending their time. I want them to |
| well wishers who said this to me while thinking | | | | know the joy inherent in each moment and how |
| they did not really know what they were talking | | | | to hold it there and savor it without squashing it |
| about. Some of those days playing Tea Party and | | | | by rushing through it. I want them to have short |
| Polly Pockets did not exactly whiz past. I am | | | | lists, with each item carefully and consciously |
| starting to see that the days at home can | | | | chosen. |
| stretch long, but the years rush right by. Now it is | | | | That is what is so appealing (and sometimes |
| just me and my youngest together all day and I | | | | misunderstood) about this notion of the Simple |
| find myself holding on to each moment with both | | | | Life. It is not that you shun things that are nice. It |
| hands. | | | | is that you are not a slave to anyone or anything |
| I find it easier now to nestle into the time spent | | | | or any series of payments. It is that you have |
| with my son. Even apart from him, I find myself | | | | the time to sit long on the sofa and talk to your |
| spending more time doing things I enjoy and less | | | | kids, and pet your dog, and check in on your in |
| time trying to convince myself that I enjoy | | | | laws, if that is what you wish to do, and to |
| something that I really do not enjoy much at all. | | | | create whatever you wish to create. |
| There is nothing like having a child to make you | | | | At the end of the day, I want my girls to |
| realize that your life is very important and very | | | | remember a mama who dressed in cozy |
| short. | | | | sweaters, and always had time for a long cup of |
| Maybe the key to all this time management talk is | | | | hot chocolate and to talk in depth about anything |
| to have a really short list of things that are | | | | at all. Who had the time to write and think and |
| important to you; things that bring you ultimate | | | | share and to just be. And I do not have to rush |
| pleasure. And when you get too busy to engage | | | | anywhere to do that. |
| fully in those things, maybe it is just a cue to | | | | Each of us has the time to do all the things that |
| back off and shorten the list some more. | | | | are important to us, as long as each of those |
| When my list gets too long, my kids fall apart. | | | | things truly deserves a place on your short list. |
| There is one thing I have discovered I need to do | | | | And the only person who has any sort of say |
| as a parent, at least to my three kids at their | | | | about the items on that list is you. |