Facing the Homeschool Super Mom

I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children,I guarantee that if you've actually taken the time
plus she tutors several other children that areto write down your list of 100 things that you're
dropped off at her house. AND she's a Pastor'sgrateful for and 10 wonderful qualities of your
wife. AND she's working on fixing up thechild, that you won't care what other people think
fixer-upper they just moved into. Whenever I'vebecause you will know and appreciate what you
been in her house, it's been immaculate. Herhave.And, see, it really doesn't matter what other
children all have perfect manners. They all seempeople think.What matters is what's important to
to be way ahead of their grade level. She'syou. Your core values. Your beliefs. Your ethics.
definitely gotta be a Homeschool SuperHow do you want your children to be as adults?
Mom.You're probably thinking of someone like thisHey, write it down right now. 5 things you want
too, right? Someone that made you think, "Man,your child to be as an adult.Okay, I'll do it right
my son isn't reading as well as hers." or "Mynow too for Ryan who is 6 years old--but do
house isn't as clean as hers." Or a million otheryours before you read mine: A loving husband and
things.And you probably discovered her when youfather An honest, ethical entrepreneur Faithful in
were new to homeschooling. When you wereservice to God Kind, thoughtful, and helpful to
already feeling uncertain in your new endeavors.those less fortunate Thankful and content for
You were already putting high expectations onwhat he can do and what he has Now, I'll bet that
yourself. You were constantly analyzing to beyou had similar types of things. Not, "makes
sure you were doing everything right. And as a$1,000,000 by age 30" or "wins he Miss America
result, you tend to be a little over-sensitive aboutcontest".Focus on developing and rearing your child
what other's are accomplishing around youto have those 5 qualities, and I'll guarantee that
without giving enough credit to yourself.So, it'sthe fact that Mrs. Smith's daughter who is 2
really important that you remember (as a newyears younger than yours is reading book three
homeschooler or a seasoned one) these basictimes as difficult. Geez, that's a real life skill. You
principles that we all so easily forget:"The 4 Basicsee what I'm getting at?Principle #4: When you
Principles That Conquer the 'Super-Moms'say "yes" to one thing, you are always saying
Syndrome"Principle #1: We always see other's"no" to something else. Have you ever heard that
through glasses that make them larger than life.before? I heard that from an owner of a
When I was a teenager, there was this lady insuccessful multi-million dollar business. That was
our church. Her hair and makeup was alwaysthe simple rule that he used to prioritize his life.
perfect. She lived in a big, expensive home. SheWhen he sat at his desk with phone messages to
was very stylish and her kids were so cool. Ireturn, he would literally think, "If I say 'yes' to
always wanted to grow up and have that.But Icalling this person, what will I be saying 'no' to?"
don't anymore.I'd rather have my house that getsWhen someone would asked to do something, he
messy 5 minutes after it gets picked up, my hairwas able to say "no", knowing that if he said
that falls down into my eyes as I pick up my"yes" to that project, that he would be saying
children, and my face that only gets makeup on"no" to extra time with his family.This principle
Sunday. Why you may ask? Well, here's why. I'mapplies to everyone whether they are conscious
happy. I love my family, and I wouldn't tradeof it or not.Mrs. Smith who is working so hard to
them for anything.The lady I had idolized as ahave her child advanced in reading is saying "no"
teen? She still has her perfect home andto some other educational area. Or, Suzie
impeccable style. But, she has a marriage withoutHomeschool Super Mom up the street who has
love and children who are stuck up adults whoher immaculate home is saying "no" to time with
ignore her totally.I had seen her through glassesher kids or family or something else.The same
that made her larger than life. In the end, she'sapplies to me. I've said "yes" to this homeschool
not any bigger or greater than me. In fact, shesite, so I've had to say "no" to things like having a
probably wishes that she had my life!So, if youperfectly neat house, laundry always done and
start to think about someone else who seems toput away, and a 5 course home-cooked meal on
have the life you want, STOP LOOKING! Instead,the table by 5:00 every night.Only say "yes" to
sit down and make a list of 100 good things inthe things that are important to you. (See, you
your life--from the air you breathe, to the heat indon't know it, but I've been gone for 20 minutes.
your home, to the kisses from your child. IMy daughter came downstairs crying, and I
guarantee that you'll feel better about yourselfstopped to take care of her. And I've also
that you ever have before.Principle #2: Everyoneacquired a set of ear muffs made from
has their own unique gift. Everyone has their ownpipecleaners and pom-poms.) So, as I was saying,
unique ability and we tend to notice in other's thesay "yes" ONLY to the things that are most
abilities that might be our "weak" ones.Forimportant to you. And know ahead of time what
instance, if you think you're house is alwaysyou'll be saying "no" to before you say
messy, you'll seem to know all these people who"yes"!Principle #5: Take advantage of every
have perfectly neat homes.For an example frompossible tool. That's right. I don't lift a finger (well,
my life, I have a son who struggles with speechhardly a finger) to clean my home as I have
and it seems like every other parent within a 100cleaner's come twice a week to take care of that
mile radius have children with perfect diction. Butresponsibility for me. And to solve my meal
you know that's not the way it is. My son mightpreparation dilemma? I purchase items that can
not pronounce every phonic soundbe thrown in the oven and get side dishes that
correctly--yet!--but he has so many other giftsare quick and easy.You can do similar things. I
that hardly make that one seem important.Forhave a homeschooling friend who takes one day
instance, no one notices his speech. They alwaysa month and cooks all day to makes meals for 30
comment, though, how loving he is. Just runningdays that she freezes and uses one at a time.
up to people and giving them hugs. And he hasAnd I thought she cooked from scratch every
fun no matter what he does. Can you believe onenight!Having difficulties organizing? Don't fight it.
day I actually heard myself saying, "Ryan. StopBuy something that organizes your stuff or
that. Not everything is supposed to be fun." I hadforget it. It really isn't that important to waste
to step back and slap myself. Then I said, "Nevertime stressing over!Use all the tools you can, and
mind. Mommy was wrong. Have as much fun asleave everything else to collect dust.So whatever
you can." And I learned a lesson from that.So,happened to that super mom?Hopefully by now
forget about what the homeschooled Jones' areyou've done the exercises or at least skimmed
doing. Discover your child's unique ability and relishenough here and there to know that there is no
in it and develop it and learn from it.Right now, atsuper mom except the unrealistic giant you've
the end of your list of 100 things that you'recreated in your mind. Instead, you should have a
grateful for, list 10 wonderful qualities or abilitiesfull, realistic view of the gifts and treasures that
for yourself and each of your children. Work onyou possess and a new appreciation for all you
acknowledging, praising, and being thankful for allget done and how you can enjoy doing what you
of your gifts. And don't forget to thank God thatdo a little more! If you've done that, than I wasn't
you got the greatest kids ever born on thiswrong in saying "yes" to this project!Release your
earth.Principle #3: It doesn't matter what othersworries and enjoy life!
think. I know, it seems easier said than done. But