| Children with healthy self esteem grow up to be | | | | out. Teach your children to think positively |
| independent and responsible adults. But children | | | | about themselves by modeling this behavior in |
| don't naturally gravitate towards independence - | | | | yourself. The Little Blue Engine didn’t give |
| they need their parents' guidance. Use these tips | | | | up and the reward was confidence. Confidence |
| to help put your children on a responsible and | | | | builds on itself, and your child will gain greater self |
| healthy path. | | | | esteem when you encourage independence and |
| Do you remember that phase in your | | | | responsibility. |
| child’s life when all you heard was I | | | | Build in Life Skills through Routines |
| want to do it!? You’re in a hurry, and | | | | Routines give your child practice and repetition. |
| you want to help your child get dressed, but your | | | | If, for instance, the after school routine includes |
| two or three year old will have no part of that. | | | | putting away the lunch box and coat, having a |
| You must wait for 15 minutes while she masters | | | | snack, and doing homework, your child learns |
| the socks and shoes. Your helpful child, at this | | | | responsibility as a way of life. If you want your |
| age, wants to take out the trash, put away the | | | | child to have good personal grooming skills, build |
| silverware, bake cookies, and clean the | | | | brushing hair and teeth, and washing face into a |
| bathroom. What on Earth happens to this | | | | morning and bedtime routine. When a child does |
| independent child? | | | | the same thing over and over, he learns |
| Not all children, but many, shift into a new phase. | | | | independence without even thinking about it. |
| Picking up their toys is a dreadful task. Playing is | | | | Let Children Fall Down and Experience the |
| so much more important than doing homework. | | | | Consequences |
| Getting them to hang up their coat or make their | | | | Resist the urge to be a helicopter parent and |
| bed is like pulling their two front teeth. In the | | | | hover over your child. Life is full of opportunities |
| teenage years, you get another glimpse of | | | | to succeed and make mistakes. The lesson is |
| independence, but it’s not exactly in the | | | | reinforced and learning takes place when children |
| areas you might want. Teenagers insist they | | | | are allowed to make mistakes. If your child |
| have all their academics, social relationships, and | | | | makes a bad choice, let him experience the |
| life in general, under control. You may think | | | | natural or imposed consequences. A D or |
| differently, but who are you? To a teenager, | | | | an F on an exam sends a very clear |
| you’re just an old fashioned and | | | | message that the child needs to study harder. |
| unintelligent parent. | | | | The effect is not the same when you are |
| Regardless of what children may want or think | | | | hounding your child to study so she |
| they need, parents have a job to teach | | | | doesn’t fail. When your child makes the |
| responsibility and independence. It is a lifelong | | | | choice to extend his curfew by an hour, he loses |
| commitment that isn’t always so easy, but | | | | the privilege of going out the next weekend. |
| here are some tips to keep you on track. | | | | Guaranteed he will think twice before staying out |
| Encourage Independence by Refusing to Step In | | | | late the next time. |
| When your child reaches an age to take on an | | | | Coach your Children towards Independence and |
| age-appropriate activity, show your child how to | | | | Responsibility |
| do it, then let go and let your child struggle. It | | | | When your child is faced with a future or past |
| can be hard to watch children fight with their | | | | decision, ask a lot of open ended questions that |
| shoelaces, or stumble over their words in a new | | | | encourage your child to think for himself. |
| friendship, but it is in these moments that children | | | | What do you think you should say to your |
| are learning. The joy they feel when they gain a | | | | friend? What could you have done |
| little more independence can be very rewarding, | | | | differently in this situation? Giving advice |
| and a strong motivator to try new tasks in the | | | | teaches your children what you want and what |
| future. | | | | you think is best. Coaching your children |
| Believe in Your Child | | | | supports them in developing good decision making |
| Children need to know you believe in them. | | | | skills, and honoring what is best for them. |
| Encourage your children with positive words such | | | | It’s okay if they don’t make the |
| as, You are a smart girl. You can figure this | | | | best choice. Live and learn. |