| "The secret of getting ahead is getting started. | | | | For a three year old cleaning up their room, you |
| The secret of getting started is breaking your | | | | might say, "Pick up all the Lego pieces". Then, |
| complex overwhelming tasks into small | | | | "Pick up all the doll clothes." For a thirteen year old |
| manageable tasks, and then starting on the first | | | | it might be, "Empty all the clean dishes from the |
| one." -Mark Twain | | | | dishwasher and put them away." Then, "take all |
| Now that your child is on summer vacation, they | | | | the plates off the table, scrape them and rinse |
| might have a summer reading assignment. The | | | | them." Notice that these are two or three |
| question is how long should you allow your child to | | | | requests packaged together. Some thirteen year |
| wait before they get started. This is true for | | | | olds can handle that, others would have a harder |
| projects during school as well. It also might apply | | | | time. So break it down! |
| to getting ready for life events like a confirmation | | | | The second strategy is to talk to your child about |
| or bar- or bat mitzvah. So how can you help your | | | | their goals and moving closer to their goals. I just |
| child overcome procrastination? | | | | read a great article (I wish I remember where!) |
| Firstly, whatever you do, whether it is one of my | | | | that said anytime you are procrastinating, ask |
| suggestions or some other idea, make sure you | | | | yourself a simple question. "Is this really what I |
| do it in a loving manner. Chances are, your child is | | | | want right now?" If you were really clear on your |
| already a little nervous, anxious or annoyed about | | | | goals, you would be motivated to do what it |
| the project. If you come in and start dictating a | | | | takes to achieve those goals. If your child is not |
| plan of action, the level of tension may only rise. | | | | motivated, you should really be thinking about |
| The first strategy I want to share with you is | | | | how to motivate him or her instead of forcing or |
| one that is a classic special education strategy. | | | | bribing. |
| And any good teacher will tell you that you should | | | | Let's think forward a few years to when your |
| use special education strategies with every child, | | | | child has a job. You know people who go to work |
| as needed. The strategy is simply to take a | | | | and do what they have to do just to get a |
| complex task, break it down into small steps and | | | | paycheck. You also know people who go to work |
| give one step at a time. | | | | and really enjoy what they do. They would |
| An example of how I used this strategy was | | | | almost be willing to do it for free. Which kind of |
| when I was teaching and I had my students write | | | | employee do you want your child to grow up to |
| a report. I could have simply said, "Choose a topic | | | | be? They have to start learning now to be that |
| in science and write a report about it." I would | | | | way. |
| have had 5% of my students do it well and the | | | | So you could motivate them with something |
| other 95% would have failed at the task. Instead | | | | external like a treat when they finish, or you can |
| I gave as a homework assignment to write down | | | | help them to build some internal motivation. |
| one question that science could answer for you. | | | | Internal motivation for cleaning their room might |
| After the students completed that successfully, I | | | | be being able to find things. Internal motivation for |
| told them to find three articles about the topic | | | | finishing a school project might be the satisfaction |
| either on the Internet, in encyclopedia or in a | | | | of learning. Or the long-term goal of getting a |
| newspaper or magazine. The next step was to | | | | degree. |
| summarize each article, write a first draft of a | | | | So the way to stop procrastination is (1) to break |
| report, get a friend to proofread and write a final | | | | the task into "bite-sized" pieces and (2) to be |
| draft. | | | | really motivated to do what you are doing. This is |
| You should be employing this strategy with your | | | | no small task, but most worthwhile tasks are not |
| kids whether they are 3 years old or 13 years | | | | easy. Unless you are really motivated to do them! |
| old, obviously with different levels of sophistication. | | | | |