Dealing With Well-Meaning Friends and Family

"What? You're home-what? Homeschooling?relatives.
What's that? Teach my own kids? Oh, I couldYou gotta be bold - Have you ever been in a
never do that. You're not a teacher. You don'tsituation where one of your children was falsely
have a teaching certificate. You don't have aaccused? Or, maybe one time there was a bully in
degree in education. What about the kids? Whatthe sandbox at the local park that picked on your
about their socialization? You're going to teachdaughter? Do you remember that feeling that
them high school levels, too? You didn't takewelled up inside you when your child suffered the
Biology in high school, how will you teach it? Youinjustice? That feeling is a protective instinct which
can't homeschool with the hours you keep! You'veis sometimes referred to as a "mother bear
always been a second-shifter. You can't let yourinstinct". Chances are that you had absolutely no
kids keep those hours. I can't wait 'til the schooltrouble running to your child's rescue when they
bus gets here, so I can put my kids on it. 24were in danger or a difficult predicament. The
hours a day with them? I could never homeschoolnext time somebody gives you grief about your
my kids - they drive me crazy. Are you crazy?"personal choice to use home school curriculum for
Wow! Have you ever heard any of theseyour children, you can decide NOT to run for
questions and comments? Maybe notcover. Instead, you can harness your natural
word-for-word, but I bet you've heard somethingprotective instincts and flex those bulging courage
similar. Well, friend, I have been homeschooling formuscles by politely and BOLDLY responding to
TWELVE years and I kid you not - I havetheir questions.
personally received every single one of thoseBe prepared with a gracious answer - Let's face
off-handed comments listed above!it. You are going to get questions. If you stick
I'm here to tell you today - who cares? It doesn'twith your decision to homeschool, you will get
put me off today. It didn't put me off in thequestions, comments, judgmental attitudes, and
beginning. And, it's not going to put me off in thefunny looks. You may even be jeered, ridiculed,
future. Careless words coming from yourtalked down to, and snubbed. So, if we KNOW
well-meaning friends and family members don'tAHEAD OF TIME that folks are going to dish it
have to bring you down either. Instead, let themout, then WHY get upset over it?
serve as a catalyst to keep your fire burning, toOne truth about human nature that I learned long
keep you fueled up and motivated year afterago from working in the restaurant business is
year through this wonderful homeschoolingthis: People are people. AND, people are ALWAYS
journey! Here's some tips to turn the negativitygoing to be people. When my children are
around...adamant about getting offended over somebody
Do you have conviction? Do you know "why" youelse's words or actions, I am quick to remind
homeschool? Chances are if you don't know WHYthem that the only person on earth that they can
you're doing this, then you've got no convictioncontrol is themselves. So, if this is true, WHY get
for WHAT you're doing. There's no way that youupset with "well-meaning, caring", individuals that
will EVER win over your inquisitive parents to yourquiz you over homeschooling? Just be prepared
way of thinking if you don't even believe in whatwith a gracious answer and call it a day!
you're doing!Don't be offended - When people ask questions, it
Would you buy a car from someone that couldn'tis a tell-tale sign that they are interested. Resist
look you straight in the eye? Why not? Becausethe urge to jump immediately to the conclusion
you don't believe the guy! In the car salesman'sthat they are "questioning" your judgment or
defense, he may not be shady or unscrupulous atexpertise. That may only be your pride getting in
all. He may just be lacking conviction for what hethe way of having an intelligent conversation with
does. Very much in the same way as the caryour mother-in-law. Flip the coin over and try to
salesman example, your family doesn't believesee it from her perspective. Perhaps she is just
YOU if you don't have a strong conviction forso in love with her grandchildren that she just
what you are doing with your children's education.wants to voice her concerns. She may just need
When you believe in yourself, they will believe inyou to listen to her, and give her the same
you, too. You need to take some time and putproper respect for her "mom" title that you
some serious thought into creating a list of yourrequire from your own children for yourself. Use
reasons "why" you choose to homeschool. Youthe conversation as an opportunity to share with
and I both know that it has nothing to do withher all that you have found to be true about
choosing the right homeschool curriculum. Yourhomeschooling. In the long run, she will appreciate
"why" is personal to you and your family.you for caring enough to listen to her and also,
Whatever it is, figure it out and write it down.that you've provided more information about
Refer to your list when you feel like you'reproven success for her.
wavering in this decision. If you don't have aSometimes you have to be at peace in "agreeing
strong conviction, you'll never win your family andto disagree" - Obviously, there *may* be
friends over. Once you figure out your "why",someone in your life that is arrogant, prying and
then you'll be able to discuss the subject withmaybe downright vindictive. However, you don't
confidence and your family will hear your hearthave to get upset over their choice to be
and your conviction loud and clear.negative. Let them get their thoughts and opinions
Be informed - Do you know homeschool factsout and then, you can look them in the eye and
and statistics for successful homeschoolsay, "Thank you so much for your concern. I
graduates? Do you know ACT and SAT testappreciate you expressing care for us. It sounds
score comparisons between public school learnersas if we may never agree on this subject. I'm
and homeschool learners? Do you know howokay with that and I love you anyway." Then,
many homeschoolers have taken top seats injust leave it at that. You don't owe anybody any
national academic competitions? How aboutadditional explanations! You are the appointed one
scholarship award statistics? These examples areas caretaker for your children. YOU are
only a few of very worthy facts and figures toresponsible for making the educational choices in
seek out and share with those folks that lovetheir lives. It's as simple as that.
you, but are unsure about this crazy thing calledI hope you find something here to help you resist
"homeschooling".the negative feelings that may well up from
You will have to do a bit of homework and a littlenormal human curiosity expressed via your family
fact research regarding homeschooling, but onceand friends. May you be encouraged to stay
you do, even YOU will be impressed by thestrong and keep rolling forward, day by day, and
statistics. Then you will know that you KNOW youyear by year. I promise you that there are just
are doing the right thing for your children. Aftersimply too many rewards for sticking to your
discovering the nitty gritty about homeschooling,guns and remaining steadfast in your calling to
you'll also strengthen that conviction we talked"teach your children in the way that they should
about earlier. You'll come across as strong andgo" because down the road, "when they are
secure when you answer those presumptuousolder, they will not depart from it".