| A friend and her daughter were visiting me at | | | | discomfort to something that is joyful, they |
| my apartment. In the front entrance of the | | | | will immediately feel better. If something |
| building there is a high stoop, about one | | | | is overwhelming to them, help them to break |
| foot high in an area. The little girl | | | | it down into smaller units. Just because |
| assessed the place, and decided to jump. The | | | | they have a thought about something doesn't |
| way she had jumped caused her to fall forward | | | | mean that the thought can't be changed or |
| and down right on her face. Once I knew that | | | | adjusted. |
| she was okay, I started to quietly speak to | | | | |
| the little girl about her landing, so that | | | | Open communication: Children feel most |
| she could do it better the next time. Her | | | | comfortable when they can talk about what |
| mother, freaked out, and was screaming at me | | | | they are feeling or thinking about any |
| for letting her, picked up her daughter, and | | | | subject. Nothing should be off limits, they |
| wiped away the blood, and was putting out all | | | | should be able to ask questions, and get |
| sorts of negative thoughts and creating more | | | | solid answers, they should be able to tell |
| fear in her daughter. My friend left us for | | | | you anything without punishment, and let you |
| a moment, and I talked to the little girl. " | | | | know about something that is happening to |
| | | | them, without being afraid, or disturbed that |
| You know, I saw what you had tried to do, You | | | | you will be upset with them or that you will |
| were very brave, I know that you got a little | | | | not love them. Sometimes the time and place |
| scared, but it was a good try, next time you | | | | for discussion is not appropriate, but as |
| have to make sure that you clear the wall | | | | soon as you are able, take them to a safe and |
| with your feet, and get your feet underneath | | | | quiet place and let them talk. Let them know |
| you, so that you land on your feet." She | | | | that you are going to listen to them fully at |
| looked at me with peaceful understanding, and | | | | that time. Make a commitment and do so. |
| a new awareness. She knew that I was not | | | | |
| upset at her for trying something new, and I | | | | Respect: You teach respect to children by |
| was giving her a tool so that she would not | | | | example. If you don't want to be laughed at |
| get hurt again when she tried it after that. | | | | for your thoughts or your actions, don't |
| Right there I knew she got it. | | | | laugh at them and don't mock them, be careful |
| | | | of your words. Don't call them stupid, an |
| Managing thoughts: To cope, children also | | | | idiot, or unintelligent. Remember they are |
| need to know how to manage their thoughts. | | | | just a reflection of what they were taught, |
| Let them know that by changing their focus, | | | | and what they learned. |
| from something that is causing stress or | | | | |